Text from your husband:
"Thanks for all you do for us. We love you so much. I'm proud to have such an amazing, beautiful wife. Can't wait for you to get home. Love you"
Return text from wife:
"I'm on my period"
Text from wife:
"They're here to close the pool. I thought you were going to be here for this. I don't know what to tell them"
Return text from husband:
"Tell them to close the pool"
If you have been with your partner for a long time, the chances are your conversations (in person or via text) may lack that warm gooey-ness of that time when you first began dating. Sean and I have been married for 29 years, and our exchanges are certainly not the same as they once were when we were newly weds. My banter with Sean tends to fall in line with "What did the doctor say?" "Are you coming with me to spin class?" "Good god please change that shirt." "No, a bag of chips isn't on your diet." Even during romantic dinners, we find ourselves conversing about things like our kids (grown ups now), the dog, what's next for renovations. Carrying on with meaningful dialogue can get potholed, especially when the majority of your marriage, up until now, may have that all consuming talk about your kids. When that glorious day comes when you get to sit with your spouse and actually have an evening to talk to each other, have some wine and just be, don't be frivolous with this time.
So, Sean and I are now doing date nights, but with rules. What we can and what we cannot talk about is plainly laid out - because without some preparation, even the most perfect setting can fall flat. I researched some open ended questions that were fun for us both to answer, and some others that required deeper thought. All in all - it was a success. We actually had fun with it and learned a little more about each other (we didn't discuss why our adult son is still living in our house, lol).
So to my fellow married couple, if you want to change the trajectory for that pending date night, ya gotta prepare. Try all or some of these 20 questions to keep things interesting and have some fun with it too.
What do you love most about me?
What is the best compliment that I have given you?
What do I do that makes you feel loved?
If you could have any superpower what would it be?
What's your favorite song to sing in the shower?
What's your favorite movie of all time?
If you could relive a year in your life, what age would it be, and why?
If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
What's your idea of a romantic evening with me?
What is your biggest fear?
What's the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?
If you could live anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?
What physical feature do you like about me the most?
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your family and pets, you have time to safely to run back in to save one item. What would that be, and why?
In what ways have I changed since we first met?
What was your favorite date you had with me?
If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say, in only 3 WORDS.
Is there anything I can do to show you love better?
If was to die tomorrow, what is the one thing you I would want me to know?
Where do you see us in 10 years?
Plan your date night, get gussied up, and don't forget the list of questions. Not only will you strike up some memorable chatter, you also might get a couple of laughs out of them.
Go get it love birds.